Friday, August 13, 2004

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

New Jersey governor Jim McGreevy announced to the world yesterday that he looked "deeply into the mirror of his soul" and saw a lonely little guy just struggling to burst out and suck some serious cock. Well, he didn't use those words exactly. He nuanced it up a bit, rambling on about his "confused childhood" and "spiritual reflection", trying to spin it around to where cheating on his wife was the only thing he was guilty of. Sure, I'll bet she didn't appreciate being porked by the same package that was up some dude's poop chute ten minutes earlier, but don't worry - the affair was "consensual".

Yup, consensual!

"I confess, Kari, I've been playing 'Hide the Sausage' with that brash young Israeli poet. You know, the one with the pretty lips and the nice ass? But I assure you, it was purely consensual."

Listen, jackass, if you want to ride the baloney pony, that's fine by me. I'm a tolerant person. Heck, some of my best friends are bone-smuggling ass pirates. But don't try to tell me it'd be completely peachy-keen to take it up the fudge tunnel if you just weren't so inconveniently married. Certain parts of the body are meant for specific things, and I'm fairly sure that God designated the asshole for the discharge of fecal matter only.

Jim McGreevey: He was confused as a child, but he's confused no more!

27 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well that explains everything!

Maybe if you did you girl in the poop chute once in a while you'd maybe not be such a huge friggin donkey ding-dong.

September 1, 2004 at 2:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Certain parts of the body are meant for specific things, and I'm fairly sure that God designated the asshole for the discharge of fecal matter only."

Then, by virtue of consistent reasoning, you must believe mouths were not intended for sexual purposes. But I can't imagine you are in the habit of turning down blow jobs...

September 18, 2004 at 12:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Then, by virtue of consistent reasoning, you must believe mouths were not intended for sexual purposes. "

By virtue of reason, the contents of one's mouth do not naturally constitute harmful waste material rejected by the body, unless you put the waste there yourself. The anus is not a sex organ. Never has been, never will be.

December 13, 2004 at 12:20 PM  
Blogger Blog ho said...

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December 13, 2004 at 12:31 PM  
Anonymous Steve said...

"Listen, jackass, if you want to ride the baloney pony, that's fine by me. I'm a tolerant person. Heck, some of my best friends are bone-smuggling ass pirates."

how dare you call yourself a "tolerant person," when all you do is bash homosexuals with this poorly writen pig swaller? why don't you try being tolerant by leaving behind your extreme views and steping into the 21st century?

and, on the matter of how somethings arent' meant for sex, i must say this: have you ever touched your prostate gland? try it, i'm sure your views on anal sex will take a change for the better.

February 27, 2005 at 2:12 PM  
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